Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I am engaged

(262): View more from Wisconsin

To a real live girl that has met me

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(262): I am engaged (262): To a real live girl that has met me http://tfl.nu/4ln0

Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (575)
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(773): View more from Illinois

is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

(773): View more from Illinois

it's more of a rinse.

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(773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k

Replies (66) Good night (1456) Bad night (2513)
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(813): View more from Florida

Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.

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(813): Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever. http://tfl.nu/e0dp

Replies (33) Good night (5613) Bad night (888)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

(313): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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(313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc

Replies (18) Good night (962) Bad night (4584)
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(816): View more from Missouri

She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.

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(816): She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years. http://tfl.nu/8lob

Replies (19) Good night (1835) Bad night (5511)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?

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(832): Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/z9u9

Replies (14) Good night (3222) Bad night (1705)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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(970): I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vide

Replies (3) Good night (2457) Bad night (916)
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(416): View more from Toronto

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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(416): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?! http://tfl.nu/lb62

Replies (12) Good night (978) Bad night (2107)
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(260): View more from Indiana

ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.

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(260): ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me. http://tfl.nu/9s81

Replies (4) Good night (1269) Bad night (863)
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(303): View more from Colorado

accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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(303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e

Replies (4) Good night (2441) Bad night (522)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

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(202): Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF http://tfl.nu/zpe8

Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (387)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it

(773): View more from Illinois

It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact

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(773): I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it (773): It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact http://tfl.nu/3h4p

Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (884)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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(704): I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/6fin

Replies (5) Good night (840) Bad night (571)
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(312): View more from Illinois

If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.

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(312): If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/vx4i

Replies (4) Good night (1110) Bad night (373)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas

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(608): either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas http://tfl.nu/63t6

Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (273)

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