theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.