I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic