Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
