you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.