She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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