I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
