and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize