Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize