So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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