hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
