Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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