from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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