I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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