FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
