You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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