her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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