If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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