My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
