....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
