on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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