Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  It breaks. We fall.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

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  (443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in. (443): It breaks. We fall. (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys? http://tfl.nu/201c
  Replies (14) Good night (463) Bad night (3036)
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  (925): View more from California

  we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

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  (925): we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks http://tfl.nu/odpi
  Replies (19) Good night (1584) Bad night (4066)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

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  (708): Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes http://tfl.nu/wqgi
  Replies (10) Good night (4315) Bad night (910)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

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  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3618) Bad night (774)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

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  (303): friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension http://tfl.nu/bl0j
  Replies (46) Good night (1689) Bad night (5137)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"

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  (603): sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!" http://tfl.nu/halh
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (3843)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4388) Bad night (1251)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?

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  (269): You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me? http://tfl.nu/2kws
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (493)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (398)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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  (773): Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app. http://tfl.nu/h2ht
  Replies (1) Good night (1145) Bad night (339)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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  (647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (258)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom

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  (604): Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/2vz6
  Replies (0) Good night (206) Bad night (486)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.

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  (336): Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net. http://tfl.nu/v16i
  Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (416)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck

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  (306): woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck http://tfl.nu/v8nv
  Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (253)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.

  (206): View more from Washington

  WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN

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  (702): All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze. (206): WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN http://tfl.nu/b6xg
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (222)

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