I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!