We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??