I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
