Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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(203): The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar. http://tfl.nu/eecr

Replies (12) Good night (1162) Bad night (682)
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(954): View more from Florida

Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

No, it just says ur easy

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(954): Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead? (787): No, it just says ur easy http://tfl.nu/6cbn

Replies (22) Good night (1016) Bad night (1646)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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(404): Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle. http://tfl.nu/2aue

Replies (16) Good night (3226) Bad night (1169)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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(847): I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore. http://tfl.nu/qnk6

Replies (32) Good night (1011) Bad night (4804)
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(408): View more from California

Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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(408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8

Replies (41) Good night (6786) Bad night (1268)
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(716): View more from New York

i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.

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(716): i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby. http://tfl.nu/gnwv

Replies (35) Good night (4216) Bad night (1189)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.

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(860): he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit. http://tfl.nu/apjr

Replies (37) Good night (1220) Bad night (6058)
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(301): View more from Maryland

dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow

(410): View more from Maryland

so basically your not goin out tonight?

(301): View more from Maryland

who said that?

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(301): dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow (410): so basically your not goin out tonight? (301): who said that? http://tfl.nu/qimw

Replies (13) Good night (5400) Bad night (935)
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(925): View more from California

Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.

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(925): Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip. http://tfl.nu/xswv

Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (909)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God

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(+44): I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God http://tfl.nu/m4vw

Replies (3) Good night (2237) Bad night (692)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

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(204): Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ux11

Replies (9) Good night (2733) Bad night (589)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

(480): View more from Arizona

I told you I would

(931): View more from Tennessee

I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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(931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2

Replies (7) Good night (2198) Bad night (572)
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(785): View more from Kansas

DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.

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(785): DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS. http://tfl.nu/jicq

Replies (14) Good night (992) Bad night (386)
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(518): View more from New York

I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock

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(518): I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock http://tfl.nu/0p3e

Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (233)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?

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(304): watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him? http://tfl.nu/cta0

Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (354)

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