We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.