Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1422) Bad night (690)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.

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  (914): Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people. http://tfl.nu/31i5
  Replies (17) Good night (770) Bad night (2079)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

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  (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe
  Replies (140) Good night (1972) Bad night (38490)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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  (918): Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it http://tfl.nu/0aic
  Replies (29) Good night (3848) Bad night (1689)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...

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  (973): doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea... http://tfl.nu/umc9
  Replies (18) Good night (952) Bad night (4706)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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  (402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande
  Replies (19) Good night (1943) Bad night (3762)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.

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  (218): I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble. http://tfl.nu/uwsi
  Replies (6) Good night (3397) Bad night (1051)
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  (415): View more from California

  What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.

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  (415): What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again. http://tfl.nu/hwy2
  Replies (9) Good night (1076) Bad night (2030)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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  (570): He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help. http://tfl.nu/6hrq
  Replies (10) Good night (1236) Bad night (3751)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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  (412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef
  Replies (18) Good night (3931) Bad night (1293)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

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  (334): My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves. http://tfl.nu/fl2d
  Replies (11) Good night (3121) Bad night (937)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Her only article of clothing is an American Flag

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  (613): Her only article of clothing is an American Flag http://tfl.nu/tlj8
  Replies (6) Good night (2002) Bad night (525)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.

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  (503): Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals. http://tfl.nu/1rao
  Replies (6) Good night (928) Bad night (504)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

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  (607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (392)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times

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  (603): So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times http://tfl.nu/2gsi
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (242)

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