i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
