wat bout pragnant strippers??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
