just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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