VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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