so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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