And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
