dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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