Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
