Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
