Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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