Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
