fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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