Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
