My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
