babies were throwing up all over the place
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
