we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
