you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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