Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
