So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
