Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
