fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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