And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
