wat bout pragnant strippers??
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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