Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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