I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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