eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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