I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize