for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
tell me about the fingering
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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