Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
