i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
