did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
