He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
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I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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