Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize