Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
