I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
